


Don't Break the Ice

by Lady Divine (fhartz91)



Series: Deliver Me 'verse [10]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-18 22:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22467487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhartz91/pseuds/Lady%20Divine
Summary: After the fight with their father that leads to Sebastian and Richard kicking him out of the house and taking away his claim to the Smythe family fortune, the next step is visiting their mother in her new home. But while talking to a doctor about her care, Sebastian is distracted by a loud tapping noise that no one else seems to hear.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Series: Deliver Me 'verse [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/62214
Kudos: 21





	Don't Break the Ice

**Author's Note:**

> So these are the series of one-shots I wrote back in 2015 (I think) that make up the sequel 'Special Delivery'. I held on to them because they were going to be incorporated into the chapters of the sequel. That sequel is taking forever to finish, unfortunately. It will get done, I just can't say when. So I'm posting these so that anyone who is curious or needs closure will know where the story goes and how it ends.

“As you can see, we’ve outlined an extensive plan for your mother’s care,” Dr. Harold said, handing Richard and Sebastian folders thick with paperwork. “If you take a look at page one, you’ll see …”

Sebastian opened the folder in his lap and flipped through the pages, jumping ahead of the doctor’s commentary.

Thirteen pages in, he was sorry he did.

He became overwhelmed by the amount of information he saw: dietary recommendations, meal plans, exercise schedules, medications …

… palliative care.

Sebastian read those words and gulped hard.

This folder he held, from the first page to the last, covered the entirety of what was left of his mother’s life.

And it was relatively light, all things considered.

His hands began to shake. He flipped the folder closed, deciding it would be best for the doctor to tell him himself.

Digest the information slowly.

“We’ve tried to anticipate any and all complications regarding …”

_Tap tap tap tap tap …_

High-pitched and dull, the sound pinged off the side of Sebastian’s skull. He lifted his head, looked around, waited for it to return. When it didn’t, he mentally shrugged and returned his attention to the lecture.

“Initially, we were concerned that …”

_Tap tap tap tap tap …_

“What the…?” Sebastian glanced around again. The doctor kept talking, undeterred by the noise. His brother, his sister-in-law, and Kurt seemed unfazed, as if they didn’t hear it. But it seeped into Sebastian’s ears, knocking in his brain, making it impossible for him to focus on anything else for too long.

_Tap tap tap tap tap …_

“Now, we’ve recommended that she be kept on …”

Sebastian stared at the doctor, continuing on as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on, stunned that he wasn’t the least bit perturbed by the interruption. But since it didn’t actually seem to interrupt him, Sebastian didn’t know if the sound wasn’t just inside his own head. No one else seemed to notice it or be bothered by it.

But for him, it ricocheted behind his eyes and made concentration unbearable.

 _‘Maybe I’m finally going insane,’_ he thought. _‘The stress of the past year, last night, and now this? Maybe I should be checking myself in here with mom. Wouldn’t be fair to saddle Kurt with a disturbed boyfriend after being stalked by a maniac.’_

_Tap tap tap tap tap …_

Sebastian cringed as the _tap tap tapping_ continued, grinding his teeth together to combat the sound. It was a rhythmic sort of hammering, but he didn’t notice any construction going on when they arrived. The longer the tapping continued, the more he began to shrink into his seat, his hands creeping up to his ears to try and block it out. He started to feel like he was making a scene, but the only person who seemed to notice was Kurt.

“Sebastian,” he said, leaning close. “Honey, are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian replied, fidgeting in his seat when the sound erupted again. “I’m okay. I’m just … is it hot in here? It feels hot in here … to me …”

“I … it’s not hot in here,” Kurt said, shivering as conditioned air from a vent above them poured down his neck and into the collar of his shirt. He worried for his boyfriend. He’d never seen Sebastian so agitated before. He was usually so cool under pressure, ready with a snarky remark that was more humorous than sarcastic to alleviate the tension.

But not now.

He seemed on the beveled edge of losing control.

“Oh,” Sebastian replied, doing his best to smile reassuringly when he saw the worry in Kurt’s eyes. “Well, then, it’s probably just me.”

_Tap tap tap tap tap … Tap tap tap tap tap … Tap tap tap tap tap …_

The sound was getting steadily louder, becoming more relentless, driving Sebastian mad. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that of all the people in this room, _he_ seemed to be the only person affected by it. He tried to relax, tried to focus, tried to shut it out of his brain, but he couldn’t. The _tap tap tap_ burrowed into him. He gripped Kurt’s hand until his poor boyfriend let out a squeak. Sebastian turned and mouthed ‘ _I’m sorry’_ , kissing his knuckles gently. Kurt smiled in understanding, taking Sebastian’s hand in his again.

_Tap tap tap tap crash!!_

Sebastian fought to pay attention, to listen to the doctor talk about his mother’s deteriorating condition, his brother making arrangements for her long-term care. He wanted to be _present_ in this decision, more than just a signature next to an ‘X’.

That irritating repetitive noise wouldn’t let him.

Sebastian looked left and right, his nerves pricked to needle points. Eventually, Sebastian couldn’t handle it anymore. It wasn’t just the tapping noise getting to him. It was _everything_.

He recalled all the things he had that made life worth living since there were so many times he had considered throwing in the towel. Spoiled and wallowing in self-pity, he knew, but at the time, it felt like the world was coming to an end. No money, no home, no future …

… no family.

But he had Kurt now, he had _his_ family. He’d been reunited with his own (the parts of it that mattered), and with the help of his brother, he had gotten his trust fund back. He could provide Kurt with the security he deserved.

But what he needed to find was peace.

There was no peace.

_Tap tap tap tap crash!!_

Sebastian stood bolt upright.

All eyes turned to him.

“Um, I’m sorry,” he stuttered awkwardly, moving through the chairs. “I … I just need some air …”

“Oh,” Tabitha said.

“All right,” his brother added.

“If that’s what you need,” Kurt said.

“Yes,” Sebastian lied, because what he really needed was to find the source of that tapping noise and wring its neck!

He stormed into the waiting room and looked frantically around. The large, open area was fairly vacant. Gravitating near the corners were individual groups, one or two visiting relatives clustered around a resident in a wheelchair, sometimes talking animatedly, but more often than not staring off into space, completely oblivious to the presence of loved ones around them.

That would be his mom, sooner than he had prepared for.

His mom had always been a beacon of energy, so full of life and love and hope. She was his anchor, the rock he tethered himself to whenever the going got tough. There was no age limit to his admiration of his mother; it didn’t wane as years went by. Even as a grown man, he’d find himself coming home to mom, pouring his heart out to her over everything.

And she was always there, ready to listen, present for the important stuff.

The way he should be instead of running away over a little tapping.

The thought of her sitting in a chair, eyes empty, possibly unable to recognize him, to see herself in his face? 

He couldn’t stand it.

_Tap tap tap tap crash!!_

Sebastian spun in a circle, the sound nearly on top of him out here, and found the source of the noise.

A little girl, around nine or ten, pale complexion, and curly brown hair tied back from her head with a blue ribbon that reminded him so much of Kurt’s eyes.

 _Kurt_.

He should go back to Kurt.

But something about this girl mesmerized him, and like the bystander of a traffic accident, he couldn’t look away.

She knelt on the floor, deep in concentration as she knocked on white blocks with a small, plastic hammer, tapping them meticulously until they fell with the loud crash that had been haunting him for the last ten minutes.

His first instinct was to tear the hammer from the girl’s hand and throw it across the room, but then he noticed she sat out here all by herself, and a strange, protective urge came over him.

“Hey,” he said, smiling brightly, sitting on a chair close enough to converse with her but not close enough to be seen as creepy or threatening.

“Hello,” the girl replied politely, not taking her eyes off the game.

_Tap tap tap tap crash!!_

All the blocks fell. She looked neither pleased nor put off as she put the hammer down and started picking the blocks up, putting them back into the blue plastic frame of the game.

“What is that you’re playing?” Sebastian asked as he watched her set everything back in place.

“ _Don’t Break the Ice_ ”.

“Can I ask why you’re playing that … extremely _loud_ game … out here all by yourself?”

The girl sighed significantly but didn’t stop re-setting her game to look at him.

“My parents sent me out here because they’re having tall talk with the doctor.”

Sebastian smirked. “Really? Me as well.”

The girl’s head snapped up, revealing the most startling pair of green eyes he had ever seen … almost like his own, but more like his mother’s. It took him back a bit though he tried not to show it.

The girl smiled with an odd amount of sympathy for a child.

“No,” she said, returning to her game. “You’re out here because things got too serious.”

Sebastian’s smile fell from his face. He knew children could be perceptive, but her matter-of-fact wisdom for her age unnerved him. “How … how do you know?”

“Because that happens to my mom sometimes.”

Sebastian nodded.

“You came out here to find some peace,” she continued. “That’s why I’m here.” The girl clamped her tongue between her teeth as she tried to force the last of the blocks together. “This brings me peace.”

The girl picked up her hammer and started tapping out the blocks again.

_Tap tap tap tap tap …_

Sebastian watched her go through the whole process again.

“You know, a lot of people might not see this as peaceful.”

The girl shrugged. “My grandpa used to say that not everybody finds peace in the same place.”

“Gotcha. So, who are you here to see?” Sebastian asked.

_Tap tap tap tap tap …_

“My grandma. She’s going to go see my grandpa soon.”

_Tap tap tap tap tap …_

Sebastian’s breath caught. He felt his eyes burn with tears but he refused to give in. Not in front of this girl, perceptive or not.

“Can I try that?” he asked. “See if I can find some peace?”

“Sure.” The girl passed the hammer to Sebastian. He knelt on the floor and started tapping the blocks.

_Tap tap tap tap tap …_

Tapping the blocks felt cathartic, but the noise sounded no better even though he was the one making it this time. Plus, he was starting to get odd looks from other adults. Not that he cared, but he wasn’t eager to attract attention.

There are some things kids can get away with that adults can’t.

Sebastian sighed.

“Nah.” He passed the hammer back. “I don’t think this is where I’ll find my peace.”

The girl looked up at the sound of a door closing, a muffled woman’s crying, and a man clearing his throat. Without a word from anyone, she started picking up the pieces of the game and putting them in the box.

“I’ve gotta go,” she said sadly. “But maybe you should ask that man you’ve been hugging. Maybe he can help you find your peace.”

 _Very perceptive._ Sebastian smiled. It was small, but it was there. “Maybe you’re right.”

She put the last of the blocks into the box when an older man came into view. He looked quizzically down at Sebastian, still kneeling on the floor, then extended a hand to his daughter.

“Come along, Lizzie,” he said. “It’s time to go.”

The girl said nothing. Probably because she knew there was nothing to say. She waved at Sebastian, then took her father’s hand and let herself be led away.

Sebastian didn’t stand up after Lizzie left. He knelt on the knobby carpet, staring in the direction she had gone, a disquieting emptiness inching up his body, turning everything inside him cold.

A warm, comforting hand squeezed his shoulder.

He tilted his head up and saw Kurt looking down at him with concerned eyes. “Oh, sweetheart! What happened?”

Sebastian opened his mouth to speak only to find his voice had stuck, lodged in his throat with those tears he’d been forcing back. Except he hadn’t succeeded. While he watched Lizzie walk away, he’d started crying. Sebastian stood, and Kurt wrapped his arms around him, held him tight.

“I was playing with Lizzie,” Sebastian replied, burying his face in the crook of Kurt’s neck. “I---I was playing with Lizzie and …”

“Shh. It’s all right. I promise. It’s going to be all right,” Kurt repeated, rubbing soothing circles over Sebastian’s spine. Sebastian felt his sorrow melt away as he inhaled deeply that sweet scent of vanilla that was Kurt’s signature scent. It was a smell that reminded Sebastian of love and hope and protection.

It reminded him of home. His _new_ home.

In Kurt’s arms, which felt like home, Sebastian found his peace.


End file.
